


a little worn down in between

by ShyAudacity



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bathing/Washing, Canon Compliant, Crying, Eddie Diaz Centric, Fever, Gen, Hallucinations, Hurt Eddie Diaz, Hurt/Comfort, Mentioned Bobby Nash, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Evan "Buck" Buckley, Protective Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Queerplatonic Relationships, Sick Character, Tenderness, War Mention, at least I think it is I dont know, please tell me if I missed any tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:49:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22484422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShyAudacity/pseuds/ShyAudacity
Summary: Hen touches the back of his neck, trying to ground him but it’s of little use; Eddie is still looking right through her, stuck in his own head. He mumbles again and she leans forward trying to understand him better. “What was that?”Eddie shudders again when he tries to speak. “I didn’t- I didn’t mean to d-do it.”OREddie is sick at work and Buck and Hen come to his rescue.
Relationships: Eddie Diaz & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 9
Kudos: 343





	a little worn down in between

**Author's Note:**

> I was hoping this would be longer but it's the first fic I've managed to finish in more than a month so I'm leaving it. 
> 
> Unbeta'd and title from Brother by NEEDTOBREATHE.

A freak thunderstorm covering all of LA keeps the 118 inside for the beginning of shift; the rig is like a moving death trap out in that storm. They’ll have plenty to do later once the storm lets up- there’s no telling how many accidents they’ll have to clean up because of this, but the small break is well accepted by the team.

Just as well, it gives some of the team a chance to catch up on the sleep they missed last night. Or at least, one member, in particular.

Eddie has been more or less down for the count since he woke up this morning, but true to his character his still pulled himself out of bed and went to work. He tossed and turned the night before his shift and now everything just feels  _ wrong _ ; his body feels too hot, like all his clothes are sticking to himself. Just as well, the sporadic thunder is doing a number on his nerves. Eddie feels like he’s one more loud noise from jumping out of his skin entirely. 

After checking in with Bobby and everyone else for breakfast, he excuses himself and stretches out on a cot in the bunk room, telling himself he just needs an hour then he’ll be fine. Before long, the pounding of rain echoing throughout the building lulls him into a restless sleep.

Hen didn’t even realize she hadn’t seen Eddie since breakfast until she walked into the bunk room and found him asleep. She doesn’t think anything of it- they’ve all been known to doze off mid-shift every once and a while- but right as she’s leaving the room, the sound of Eddie mumbling to himself halts her in the doorway.

She starts to pull out her phone, thinking of getting his sleep talking on tape for later amusement. However, when she rounds the other side of the bed, she forgets all about it once she gets a better look at Eddie. His body is trembling so much that the cot is rattling underneath him; he keeps making pained noises every few seconds, obviously in some state of distress.

Hen sits on the cot across from him, reaching out to touch his shoulder. The heat of his skin seeps through his clothes in a second; there’s no ignoring the fever. Gently, she says, “Eddie? Hey, Eddie, wake up.”

Eddie’s glazed over, heavy eyes slide open a few seconds later but he doesn’t seem to register Hen’s presence at all. Instead, his face goes tight with panic and discomfort, struggling to fully come back to awareness. His breathing is becoming quick and shallow.

Hen touches the back of his neck, trying to ground him but it’s of little use; Eddie is still looking right through her, stuck in his own head. He mumbles again and she leans forward trying to understand him better. “What was that?”

Eddie shudders again when he tries to speak. “I didn’t- I didn’t mean to d-do it.”

Feeling her own anxiety spike and quickly realizing she can’t fix this by herself, Hen leans towards the open door, calling out, “Buck, I need you in here!”

Buck rushes in a few seconds later, his wide eyes immediately falling to Eddie’s figure. “What the hell- is he high?”

Hen shakes her head. “He has a fever. Lord only knows why he would show up to work if he’s feeling like this.”

Buck crouches down next to the cot and takes in Eddie’s pinched in discomfort and ridiculously pale face; he’s never seen his friend like this and it’s starting to freak Buck out. “What can we do to help?”

“There are some cool packs in the ambo,” Hen says. “I’ll go find them, see if we can bring his temperature down- try and keep him awake, alright?”

Buck nods as Hen leaves the room and almost as soon as she’s gone Eddie begins to mumble again. Buck can’t make heads or tails of any of it, but it sure sounds like Eddie is losing his mind. He leans in closer, holding the back of Eddie’s head and speaking to him quietly, trying to keep him level headed for the time being. 

“Eddie, it’s okay. You’re gonna be alright I promise.” 

For just a split second, Eddie seems to start breathing a little easier, and Buck counts it as a win. He looks up again when Hen comes back into the bunk room- noticeably empty-handed.

“I couldn’t find the cool packs,” she says irritably. “Second shift must’ve moved them without telling me. We’re gonna have to do this a different way.”

“Couldn’t we just take him home? Or to an Emergency room, even?”

Hen shakes her head again. “The roads are still bad- we’d likely get into a crash before we get there.”

Buck bites his lip with a sigh. His eyes land on the bathroom door at the other end of the room and he gets an idea. “What about the shower? We could cool him off in there.”

“I’m not sure he can even stand up by himself, Buck.”

“I’ll go in there with him and keep him steady, make sure that he doesn’t fall. That has to work, right?”

Hen contemplates it for a long moment before nodding. “It’s worth a shot. I’ll go give Bobby a heads up- you get him upright and into the bathroom without him face planting then we’ll go from there.” 

Buck nods at her as she walks away then leans into Eddie’s space again, picking up on the stilted gasps still coming out of his mouth. “Eddie, hey,” Buck says, laying a hand on his face. “Hen and I are gonna help you, pal. We’ll have you feeling better in no time. I’m gonna sit you up now, alright?” 

Eddie groans and sways miserably after Buck moves him; Buck gives it a moment before doing anything else, silently hoping that Eddie doesn’t hit the floor or lose his breakfast. Eddie’s hardly coherent but that’s the whole problem so Buck goes along with it anyway. He and Hen keep talking to Eddie, guiding him through the motions of everything as they move into him the bathroom.

Buck strips himself and Eddie down to their skivvies then guides Eddie over the to the shower, situating Eddie so their chests are facing each other. Buck gets a hold on Eddie’s hip, his other hand placed in the middle of Eddie’s back; Eddie’s clammy hands grip loosely at Buck’s shoulders. 

He gives Hen a nod and she reaches inside the shower, cranking the nozzle to the left. Eddie jerks against Buck when the cool water hits his skin and Buck steadies them both, keeping him from getting away. “Hey, _hey_ Eddie, its okay,” Buck reminds him gently. “We’re trying to help remember?” 

Eddie keeps mumbling the whole time but Buck hardly understands any of it; he thinks he hears Eddie say sorry a few times, but Buck can’t imagine what he could have possibly done wrong in a state like this. Buck shares a few wary glances with Hen over his shoulder, worrying for a minute that both of them are in over their heads with all of this. 

Ten minutes in, Eddie finally gains some clarity. His head presses against the side of Buck’s neck and his voice comes out clearer than before. “Buck… Buck, I want  _ out _ .” 

He’s shivering again but that’s the cold water doing its job as far as Buck is convinced. He gives Hen another nod and she shuts off the water then reaches inside, helping to guide Eddie out of the shower with hands on his shoulders. 

Eddie plops down on the first bench he sees outside of the shower, tired from being upright while his brain played mind games with him. Hen very graciously starts toweling him off while he starts coming back to his senses, her hands moving gently over his head and Buck excuses himself while he changes back into his work uniform. 

He makes quick work of getting dressed again. On a whim, Buck grabs Eddie’s duffle bag out of his locker- saving a trip later when Eddie needs to get dressed again. The front of Buck’s hair is still dripping with moisture when he returns and Eddie looks right at him when he comes in; Eddie’s eyes are still too glossy for Buck’s comfort level, but it’s not as bad as before. He seems a bit more like himself, at least. 

“Hey…” Buck says carefully. “You back with us now?” 

Eddie nods numbly like he’s still only halfway there, but Buck his will take that over the Eddie that was crying against him a few minutes ago.

“I’m gonna go give Bobby an update,” Hen says then looks right at Buck. “You good here?”

Buck nods, mouthing _ I got him _ . 

After Hen is gone, Buck sits next to Eddie on the bench, their shoulders pressed together. He knows what he wants to say, but he doesn’t know where to start. “I know you might not want to talk about it right now… but whatever that was you were experiencing in there- it’s not real. You’re safe here.” 

Eddie’s shoulders stiffen next to Buck. He swallows heavily, picks his head up but doesn’t look at Buck when he speaks. “I’ve been having dreams- nightmares… about being at war again,” he admits almost pitifully. “Only makes sense that my fever dreams would look like that, too.”

Buck sees him starting to slip again- his eyes getting that distant, almost haunted look in them- and reaches for Eddie’s hand before he can think twice about it. “Hey. Come back. I’m right here, alright?”

Eddie shuts his eyes tightly, dropping his tired head onto Buck’s shoulder. He jerks when the thunder rattles the whole building and Buck wraps his closest arm around Eddie’s bare shoulder, giving him pressure, grounding him back to the present. 

“We’re good here, alright? …You didn’t do anything wrong, Eddie.”

Eddie makes a surprised, almost strangled sound and it catches Buck off guard more than anything. It takes him a second to realize that Eddie is crying- a quiet, keening whine coming from the back of his throat. He’s never seen anyone hurt like this, let alone  _ Eddie _ . He isn’t totally sure what to do until Eddie starts talking.

“My old team got ambushed once, in Kandahar, during a storm,” Eddie tells him miserably. “Most of them were fine… but my friend, Jedi, he took a bullet to the chest. I was trying to stop the bleeding and patch him up, but I nicked an artery. Jedi, he-.” 

He cuts himself off, his whole body shaking with the force of everything; Buck has a sinking feeling as to where this is going and it makes him feel sick. 

Eddie’s hands grapple at Buck’s shirt as he starts again. “I d-didn’t- I didn’t mean to do it, Buck. You have to believe me. I wasn’t- I wasn’t trying to hurt him” 

Buck pulls Eddie even closer, practically into his lap at this point. He holds Eddie’s head right up against his chest, lips moving right over the shell of his ear. “I do. I do believe you; I swear… you’re gonna be okay, Eddie.” 

Eddie’s arms move around Buck’s waist all but holding on for dear life and Buck just holds on even tighter. This should be weird. It should be weird as all  _ hell  _ that Buck is sitting here holding his sick, half-naked best friend while he pours his heart out, but it’s not. He knows without a doubt that if Eddie needed him like this again, Buck would drop everything in a second to come and help him. It’s part of what makes them family. 

Buck keeps holding Eddie even after the storm lets up- even after his fever finally breaks and he’s finished crying. 

On some level, Buck knows they can’t stay here forever. Eventually, they’ll both have to get up and go explain to Bobby that Eddie’s going to need a few days off  _ and  _ maybe make a call to the department’s therapist. They’re going to have to address all of this on a much larger scale. But for now, at least, they just sit there in the quiet holding onto each other; keeping all of the dark at bay until they’re ready to face the world again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading my fic! Comments/Kudos are appreciated and encouraged. Leave a prompt if that's something you're into. Have a great day!


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